In Loves Company
by Darkness is my Company
Summary: Prior to their wedding, Edward opens up about how he wishes he could have met Bella back in 1918 while he was still human. How can Bella describe to Edward what he means to her in her life? Can Edward go through with taking away her soul? Please R&R.


1. In Loves Company

The sound of the soothing, gentle music filled the room with a beautiful hum. On one side of the old, yellow room was an abandoned rocking chair, on the other was a window thrown as wide open as it could go, letting in the cool breeze into the already freezing room. Upon the unmade bed was a girl, motionlessly listening to the CD that mesmerized her very being. She laid in content, her eyes closed in contemplation. The notes that pierced through the air sent chills down her spine as she fell deeper into her own thoughts.

The day was unbearably long and uneventful. Bella found twiddling the hours away wasn't as easy as she had hoped. Writing to Renee went by pretty fast despite the patience it took to wait for the internet. Renee wasn't so easy to make happy when responding to her e-mails. She asked many questions and always wanted a detailed response. Bella guessed this had to do with helping her feel she was more involved with her daughter's life. The usual questions were address such as how Edward and her relationship was going, how summer days were spent, what was new in her life, whether the rain has ceased in the little town of Forks, and how her father, Charlie, was treating her.

After eating breakfast at the kitchen table (chewing each spoon full of cereal as slowly as possible) she spent a few hours washing her and Charlie's clothes, cleaning around the house, and preparing Charlie's supper for him early. Charlie had been telling Bella how Chicken Alfredo was sounding especially appetizing to him lately. Once the house was spotless and the chores had all been finished, Bella decided to sit outside beneath the tree beside her second story bedroom window and reread her favorite pieces of Pride and Prejudice. Jane Austen always seemed to have a good effect on slow moving time. It was only until she was squinting to see the words on the pages of her book that she realized the sky had grown a dark shade of grey and the light was becoming scarce. The clouds floated menacingly close together and covered the darkened sky.

Bella made her way in and set to cooking the chicken Alfredo for her father's return home. Charlie was usually a little irritable and cranky at the end of his shifts and relied on dinner as his pick-me-up.

After a quiet dinner, Charlie made his way to the TV set and nestled down for a game while Bella excused herself to her room. Edward hadn't promised he'd be back any time soon, yet Bella preferred to take refuge in her room behind her closed door.

It was pure torture to have to endure the absence of her dearest love. It almost seemed impossible to imagine feeling this alone when he was only a few miles away. Bella could willingly admit that she was undeniably and irretrievably smitten by his very presence. It was hard for her to remember a life before he had entered hers. If love could be a drug, she would be going through withdrawals off her last fix. If love could be an addiction she would be taken prisoner by its company. Her senses flew at the very thought of his breathtaking beauty, his mouth-watering scent that lingered in his presence, the startling yearn and desire in his eyes. It drove her crazy.

It wasn't very often when Edward would leave her side, only in the few cases of needing to hunt and in the rare (or shall we say not so rare) occasions of protection for her. Tonight Edward and his brothers were off chasing grizzlies and mountain lions somewhere in the dark forest outside of Forks. The only thought Bella had to look forward to was his return and the beauty of his golden topaz eyes at their purest. The color was her favorite and much to her dismay had an even greater hypnotizing control over her when unleashed. There was no denying anything when in the gaze of his eyes, especially when he peeks up through his thick, long lashes.

Bella frowned and sat bolt up and gazed gloomily at the wall ahead of her. Edward's lullaby just wasn't as beautiful when played on a CD; it couldn't do justice to the sound of the real song, the magnificent way the piano notes echoed off the walls of his open house. It was almost as lovely as his angelic voice. The fist time Bella had heard his entrancing lullaby was the first night Edward had spent the night in her room. That day was when all secrets and emotions were let free into the open. Bella couldn't get enough of Edward's presence and asked for him to stay with her. Curled up into his arms and chest, he asked if she would like to be sung to sleep. Slowly she passed into slumber in a dream of his soft hums. She never knew then that that song was her lullaby he made especially for her. Edward was gifted in the instrumental field among many others.

Bella couldn't shake her restless feeling and slowly stood up and faced her lightly lit room. She paused as her eyes found the open window and peered out. Darkness draped the outside world and left her curious to its mysteries. The old yellow curtains blew harmlessly aside the window frame as the wind raged outside the small open box. The weather was cold and wet. Rain wasn't pouring in sheets as it usually was in Forks, yet the drizzle still left the atmosphere moist and damp. The water clung to the leaves of the tree and sprinkled softly from the sky. Bella smiled wickedly to herself and walked to her window and kneeled to the ground just in front of it. The tree outside the house loomed over the roof and across the side of the house. A branch just barely stretched out right up to her window sill. Part of her wanted to play this game she already had going in her head yet the other part couldn't bear to even think about shutting Edward out. But come on, closing the window would be the last thing he would expect her to do. He may even think he had done something wrong and upset her somehow.

She couldn't help herself, she slowly slid the old window down until it was almost shut and there was only an inch still open. Giggling, she rested her forehead to the cold glass and sighed. _This should be fun_ she thought to herself. _Leaving me here all day by myself with nothing to do, serves him right _she chuckled. She heaved herself back to her feet and decided she would change into her pajamas and take her "human moment" in the bathroom to get ready for bed. She found herself already in the bathroom across the hall adding toothpaste to her toothbrush. _This has to be one thing to look forward to loosing once I become_ _one of them_, she thought to herself. Beside the desirable beauty you obtain along with the cold, hard unbreakable body, there were many perks to becoming immortal. For _them_, things such as never needing to breathe, eat food (except for the every so often bear here or there), incredible speed, razor sharp teeth and a mouth full of poisonous venom only gladly added to the marvel of becoming a vampire. Unlike most movies and comic books where vampires are portrayed as vile, disgusting creators, vampires are actually very intriguing. Their beauty captures your attention, their aroma appeals to your undeniable yearning, and their speed and hunting tactics trap you as their feeble prey. One brilliant smile and graceful sweep of their luring movement could be a disastrous fate for anyone. It is in deed a fearful thing to be in the presence of a hungry vampire, or any vampire in that matter.

Yet it was beyond Bella's control to stay away from Edward, it always has been a fight. Edward pleaded in the beginning for her to stay away from him for her own safety. There was even a dreadful time where Edward left Bella alone here in Forks. Those months were spent in tears, agony and even at times, pure delusions and crazy impulses. It may seem possible to stay away from something if you believe it to be for your own personal good, yet if you have become attached beyond reason and hope, possible is no longer an option. Edward was in fear for her life. First it was fear that she could possibly be very easily killed by himself or another vampire and slowly progressed to fear for her soul. Much to Edward's disagreement, Bella is set to be turned into a monster too.

Bella quickly shook her head angrily at herself as she finished getting ready for the night and closed the bathroom door behind her and started back for her bedroom. Monster was not the right word, and was ashamed of herself for even thinking it in that manner. A monster is described as an evil person whose perceived inhumanity or vicious behavior terrifies and disgusts people. Edward was nothing of the sort, neither was the rest of his and her soon-to-be family. Monster was a joking word only, yet Edward refused to let on to that. He encourages the hate for vampires and desperately asks Bella to see reason for staying human. As much as he may refuse to acknowledge the truth, Bella knew Edward was in fear for her soul. He didn't want the same dreadful fate for his love as he had for himself; for God to pass judgment and banish _both_ their souls to be damned in the underworld or in some kind of hell. Bella believed much different than that. One day Edward would see, until then she would rather have eternity with Edward and if-so-be-it Hell with him to. After all, heaven isn't heaven if Edward wasn't there with her.

Bella opened her door and closed it silently behind her as to not wake up Charlie, who was now asleep on the living room couch. She turned, running a hand through her wavy brunette hair, and yelped aloud as she stumbling back a step. Outside upon the base of the branch where it met the trunk, a boy sat perched, comfortably leaning against the tree gazing in at Bella. Against the darkness his outline was shadowed yet utterly noticeable. His white stature loomed threateningly among the tree branches around him that swayed in the wind and made him to appear very bleak. His dark, wet hair fell across his face and screened his features from Bella's sight. His form was almost alarming, yet beyond it all his appearance could have been that for a commercial for hair gel or a magazine ad for a men's cologne. Bella could just see the motto in her head: _The fragrance that can turn any man into a dark, brooding_ _heartthrob._

Through the arrange of his hair, a small smile curled up at the corner of his mouth. Bella grinned smugly and danced over to the window sill and kneeled once again on the floor in front of the outside world. Slowly, the boy pulled himself up and stared unblinkingly at her for a few long moments. Bella sat patiently, waiting and smiling, playing and twirling a piece of her hair around her fingers.

Before she expected it, the boy was right in front of her, behind the glass window squatting down and becoming level with her face. The smile, still intact on his god like features, parted his lips as he leaned in toward the glass, mere inches from her face. Both continued staring into each others eyes.

"You think you're funny don't you?" his velvety voice asked, fixed upon her face.

Bella shook her head and giggled. "Of course not, I just figured it was so cold and I had no one to keep me warm. I might as well just shut the window."

"We both know I could never keep you warm" he answered forwardly, his crooked smile faltering the slightest.

"You think that. I know better." Bella pointed a finger at him and lowered it into her lap.

The boy inched forward and relaxed his forehead on the glass, his breath fogging up the window. He pressed his nose and then just barely his lips to the cold smooth surface. The act sent shivers down Bella's spine.

"Please….." his silky voice poured through her as he gazed up through his long black lashes and his golden eyes drilled into Bella's mind, dazing her. "Please let me in."

Rain drops rolled down his cheeks and continued to travel down his neck, his hair still dripping wet. Bella shook her head to clear her thoughts. Even between glass she was dazzled by his clever tricks. She placed her hand on the window panel and slid her fingertips under the open window.

The boy peered down unmoving and raised his hand up to meet hers. His fingertips felt like melting ice, always cold yet wet from the rain.

His eyes flew back up to hers and continued to watch attentively.

Carefully, Bella moved her fingers back in and sighed. "Sorry, you missed curfew. I guess it's back to your house tonight."

"I'm not going back to my house tonight."

"Then I guess that means you get to spend the night outside my window."

"I've done it before; I think I can handle it." He replied smugly.

Bella shook her head then kissed her fingertips and pressed them to the glass and stood up. Making her way to her door, she hit the light switch and jumped into her bed. She buried herself in the blanket, facing the window and watched. The room was dark and the window only appeared to be painted black, but still she watched the dark box, knowing the face that watched her was just barely visible from sight.

After a few moments, she turned in her sheets and curled up on her side to face the other wall. Just then cold, wet arms formed themselves around her waist under the sheets.

"Edward!" Bella said shocked and squirming from his hold. "Either your expertise at sneaking scared me or your frozen arms startled me!"

"Sorry." At that he started unfolding his arms from her waist.

"No!" Bella hissed and grabbed for his arms and enfolded herself in them. "That didn't mean move." She twisted around awkwardly in his clutch and found herself breathless and less than an inch from his face. "I thought I said sleep outside!" She continued as she glared into his eyes despite the hold they had on her.

"I couldn't help it. Too many nights of watching from the outside, I didn't want to go back to that. Besides, why stare when I could touch?" He asked as he ran the fingers of his left hand gently up and down her arm.

Bella scowled in defeat and closed her eyes. Edward pulled her closer to his chest and nestled her in under his chin.

"Ugh! You're soaked to the skin! Get out of my bed!" Bella snapped quickly and tried to push away from his iron grasp.

"You're the one who shut me out!" Edward said smiling as he rubbed his wet hair in her face. Bella rolled around trapped and laughed as Edward started wringing the water out of his shirt over her, sniggering.

"You use your strength against me… that's not fair!" Bella panted as she tried to push away his wrists. "I remember the times when you said you had to be gentle with me because I was so weak compared to you. What happened to those days?"

Bella gave up and placed her hands over her eyes to shield them. Edward, leaning over her, took both her hands in one of his and moved them down to her chest then pulled a corner of the blanket up and started drying the trickle of water from her face.

"It's just so cute watching you attempt to subdue me." He giggled as he stroked her cheek with the back of his hand.

Bella relaxed as she felt the touch of his freezing hand trace her features. He sat there, leaning over her for a few seconds and then bent low to kiss her forehead before swiftly moving out of the bed. Bella sat up too and watched as Edward paced over to her dresser and pulled open the middle drawer and started rummaging through the loose clothes. It was days like these which gave purpose to Edward leaving spare clothes with Bella. Luckily Charlie didn't peek through any of Bella's stuff in her room or else he would have an absolute fit.

His clothes were obviously wet and clung to his masculine shape and perfectly displayed his form and build. _It wasn't fair that someone could have such beauty. It was almost dreamlike the way he looked, even more dreamlike that a god like person like this would be even remotely attracted to me_.

After finding a clean and dry pair of jeans and a wife beater undershirt, Edward began pulling off his water drenched navy blue button up and replacing it with the undershirt. Before unbuttoning his black slacks, he glanced up to find Bella gawking and smirked.

"A little privacy please."

Bella rolled her eyes and smiled then turned back over in her bed, hugging her knees to her chest. She could feel the wetness left in her bed by Edward's clothes, but didn't care too much. She was glad Edward invited himself in; she wasn't sure how much longer she would go until she would run out of the bed dodging for the window.

Suddenly there he was again, pressing himself into her back and wrapping his wintry arms around her fragile body. He leaned his head into hers and she could feel his cool breath blowing on the back of her neck, sending goose bumps across her arms. His smell was magnetic and drew Bella closed to his body. She felt his lips brush her ear lobe and kiss behind the hallow of her ear. The sensation was incredible.

"How was your day?" He asked, tracing his lips over her ear and back down toward her chin.

"Uneventful. You know if I reread anymore Jane Austin while your gone I'm going to start speaking old English."

Edward breathed a hum of agreement against her cheek and pulled back to take in her face.

"Well I guess I'll have to leave less often then, won't I?"

Bella's eyes grew big and she nodded her head violently.

Edward chuckled handsomely "Ah, Bella my love. I would never leave you if I could." With that he nestled his head atop hers and kissed her cheek. Slowly his arms moved around her shoulders and pulled her to become face to face with him. He pressed his cool white forehead to hers and rubbed noses. His lips grazed hers in temptation and continued to draw down to her chin. He began kissing down her warm neck, smelling and enjoying the heavy heat of her blood pulsing through her veins.

Bella lay paralyzed by Edwards's traveling mouth and tickling breathes across her skin. As much as she hated the way he used his little advantages, she couldn't help but love them. It was all the small and big things that made her melt when she was with him. Though he couldn't see into her thoughts, he knew when she was feeling down or upset. He could read her as if her emotions were an open book, displayed upon her face. This particular quality can only come to those who truly know someone; perhaps even feel what they feel. This habit was gained only with his deepest love for her. That may be the very thing she loved most about him. Even though she couldn't understand on her behalf what he saw in her, he in return was irrevocably and permanently in love with her too. The way he stared awestruck into her eyes, as if looking straight into her heart, held yearning for her beyond any need possible. His love is the purest in which it sacrifices self want and gives himself entirely for her being and her happiness. She is not whole unless his arm was securely wrapped around her waist bonding them together as one. As much as he dreaded the thought of taking her life away just for eternity together, she ached for him to always be beside her as he ached to always hold her close too. Forever meant nothing without Edwards touch and love there to secure her. As he had once whispered to her before, she was his life now, and his hers. For them, there was a reason to leave the mortal life; a reason to fight for forever. First, he is a boyfriend, then he is her fiancé, then he will be her eternal mate.

Till then, Bella wore a ring on a gold chain around her neck promising they would become man and wife before taking on the whole three days of torture to become a vampire. She couldn't understand why her heart dreamed to forever walk with Edward yet her mind was frightened at the very mention of her wedding. For Charlie and Renee, getting married was sort of the kiss of death for their love for each other, yet Bella knew this would never happen to her and Edward. Perhaps the fear of telling her parents (who are strongly against young marriage) she was getting married young was gripping her. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt her parents, yet in the end turning into a bloodthirsty immortal would do the job. She had to prepare herself for the many upcoming disappointments in many people's lives she cares for she was about to make. _If Edward wanted to make it so we were bonded both in life and in death then I would do that for him_. _Besides, the whole wife and husband thing really excites Edward and he really wants an old fashion wedding like he dreamed of when he was young and alive_. _How could I take that away from him_? It was coming so close and yet Bella still stalled on telling her parents.

As if sensing her thoughts, Edward stopped above Bella's collar bone and hovered. Tenderly he tugged on the small gold chain around her neck to reveal a brilliant diamond ring sparkled in between his fingertips. Sighing, he rested his head upon her chest and laid the ring back down in font of his face. He seemed to star intensively at it in thought. Bella reached her hand up and smoothed his beautifully messy hair from his face and comb through it with her fingers.

"What are you thinking about?" Bella asked, tickling his rested arm with her free hand.

"Life, I suppose." He stated wearily. "How wonderful it would have been to have met you in 1918."

Bella stared at the ceiling in thought. To have seen Edward alive in his day in age would have been lovely. How interesting it would be to be with an Edward that was warm when you snuggled up tight against him or actually ate three normal meals a day. Bella tried to imagine an Edward with less of a pale physique and with features such as rosy cheeks and an actual pulse. The thought was nice, yet Bella truly loves Edward the way he is. The things Edward see as flaws in himself compared to her are some of the things she treasures in him. Not many can say they prefer to cuddle with a frozen rock rather than a warm pillow.

Edward seemed upset at where his thoughts had led him and groaned. Bella continued to brush his cool skin, forming her hands along his neck delicately and petting his hair. "If I was alive then, I wouldn't be here today." Bella said, trying to make sense of where she was going with this argument, yet she knew Edward's thought was heading a different direction.

"I know, but what if I never caught influenza? What if my mom and dad never died or there wasn't a war. If I met you then, I would have married you the right way; a man in love with a woman, pledging to spend the rest of his life with her for better or for worse till death did us part. You could have made me a father, with beautiful little brunette girls running about and strapping young boys playing catch together. We could have grown old together, like it's supposed to be." If Edward could cry at all, his eyes would be wet with tears. Only now his eyes burned as they stared ahead at the gleaming ring.

Bella shifted and pulled herself up, letting Edward sit up dazed by her abrupt movement. Bella could feel the hot tears pooling around her eyes and tried to blink them away. It was ridiculous to get upset over nothing, but her emotions had no control over her tears and couldn't help it. Silently, she stood and walked over to her window and stood staring through the glass where Edward had once been sitting. She hated her instinctive reactions. She knew Edward never said words to hurt her, but couldn't he see how much they did? Of course meeting Edward in 1918 would have been wonderful, but it would never have happened. _Whether I was there, his mom would have died of influenza, his dad in the war, and he would have either died too or still become a vampire._ Dreaming can not change your fate

Bella stood playing with her ring, placing it on and taking it off of her left hand repeatedly. It was beautiful and it was his mother's. _He really did want this all to be special for us _she thought to herself as she closed her eyes and pictured their upcoming wedding.

Edwards hand found hers, still wearing the ring, and held it tightly. His other arm reached around and hugged her back close to his chest. His head rested on her shoulder as he peered at her. "I've upset you." It wasn't a question. He sounded sincere, but still gloomy.

"Yes… and no." She couldn't find the words she wanted so dearly to help explain how she felt. She decided to try despite that and turned to face him full on, lacing her arms around his neck.

"I could see myself walking along the rows of shops in my early 1900's classic dress and high heels when I first saw you. You asked to buy me dinner, and I of course accepted. I couldn't refuse a face like that. We grow close, you ask for my father's permission and then you propose to me. You gave me four beautiful children and a wonderful life full of love and compassion until we were both 100 years old!" Bella stopped and searched Edward's face. He watched her eyes stare deep into his then closed them to think.

"That's the way it could have been." This is where she stopped and paused for a few longer than necessary moments to think to herself. Bella only ever wanted Edward to understand how dear he was to her and how even though she has to give up certain things like growing old and having a family, in the long run she is gaining so much more.

"I met you on my first day of school. I'll admit my first day wasn't the warmest of welcomes, but the days afterwards were verypleasing. First you wanted to be my friend and then you saved my life from a crashing van. Then you didn't want to be my friend. Then you followed my scent to protect me from harm. After saving my life some more you asked me to dinner which you politely reclined your food and forced me to scarf mine. After spilling all of our secrets to each other and learning all the truths, the lion fell in love with the lamb; and the lamb with the lion. Each moment since then has been spent only thinking of you, loving you and wanting you. Wanting every part of you the way you are. I dream of your icy touch, your strong embrace, your entrancing aroma, and your taunting lips. I believe God knew I needed you, and that you needed me. God knows I love you for who you are, not for what you are. This is what I want. I want a life, however long it may be for us, to stay in the company of love. The man I fell in love with is a vampire, and I wouldn't have it any other way, even if I could."

Edward didn't move, his body was as still as a stone statue. His eyes gazed intently into Bella's face sinking in all he had heard her say. The tears brimmed over in Bella's eyes and fell down her still face. She couldn't make out what thoughts were pouring through his head. He seemed so motionless and quiet. Her breathes drew in harsh and burned her throat. She waited intent on making sure she got her point through. She absolutely refused to be ignored. She closed her eyes defiantly.

Before she knew it her body was molded to his, her lips pressed passionately against his searching mouth. Her brain swam with haziness and pleasure as she felt Edward's arms move up her body and weave their way into her hair. Her lips parted as he gasped for breath. Bella could taste his intoxicating essence. She rammed herself harder into his kiss and pulled his hair avidly as she intertwined her hands around the back of his head. Even though his skin was cold, it felt hot against hers. The moment left her yearning for more. She forced his lips to part with her tongue and probed the inside of his mouth. Edward wasn't pulling back like he usually did when their kissing had gone too far; instead he invited it and in returned kissed her fervently back. Bella's tongue slide across the rim of his teeth, observing the sharp points they came to. For a change, Bella was the first to break their entanglement.

Edward caught her as she stumbled back in a breathless daze. He grabbed her face and steadied her, running his thumbs down her cheeks to catch the path the tears left. Scooping her up into his arms, Edward carried Bella over to the bed again and laid her down atop the covers. A second later he was on her other side, cradling her in his arms and lap as he leaned his back against the headboard.

"Sometimes I often wonder how I ever lived a moment without you. In times when I feel lost or confused about anything, you always pull me back into place. How do you do that?" Edward asked as he pulled the blanket up to cover us.

"That's what love is suppose to do I guess; lift us up where we belong." Bella whispered against his chest. She felt his cool lips brush to top of her hair in a kiss. She hugged him tighter and closed her eyes.

Soon the sweet, soothing sound of his hums filled Bella's ears and calmed her. As she remembered, it was much more beautiful in person than on a CD. The waft of his breath tickled her ear and sent a thirst through her body. From against her, she could feel Edward's amused laugh growl inside of him.


End file.
